


Musings

by Avanalae



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: All pairings are implied - Freeform, Angst, Couch Cuddles, Fluff, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-06 22:16:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10345680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avanalae/pseuds/Avanalae
Summary: A story written with permission for Rahndom's "Child of the Fae" AU. Tim muses over his life as it has come to be. In fact, he thinks about it a lot.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rahn (Rahndom)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahndom/gifts).



> Originally posted January 2013.

Tim remembers his childhood.

He remembers his mother and his father and every chance he had to interact with them. Now that he is grown, he can understand a bit more about how he could be seen to be neglected as a child, but he doesn’t feel that way. He understands neglect and he knows that’s not what it was.

At least it wasn’t with Mother.

She loved him. He knows she did. 

He saw it in her eyes when she fixed his hair, tucking the strands into order.

He saw it in her eyes as she told him about the world, teaching him things he would never learn in the outside world.

He saw it in her eyes when she watched him grow and apply her teachings.

She smiled at him sometimes. Only when they were alone, though. She would smile when he told her about his day, when he told her he loved her…

He knew she returned the sentiment. She never needed to say it.

_

Tim thinks that, to some extent, Jack feared him. He never knew why, and he still doesn’t.

But he did love Tim. He would tell him about his expeditions, how to succeed in business, and “how to be a man.”

Jack didn’t hug him, though. Or remember his birthday.

Janet did, though. She was the one who sent the letter if they weren’t home and left a present on the end of his bed if they were. He didn’t have much of a need for things – anything he really wanted or needed was provided for, so he felt no need to ask for stacks of gifts that the other children he knew would boast of.

This was okay. He knew they loved him, even though they weren’t always there.

That was okay.

Mother made sure that the staff never got too close to him.  He never knew why, but he figured she had a reason.

So he never questioned it.

Even when he got really lonely.

_

He had gotten used to being lonely.

After Mother died, there was no one to remind Father of the important dates. No one to remind him that sometimes you need to spend time with your son. When Dana came along, she helped a bit, but it just wasn’t the same.

He wished, sometimes, that he could just be a part of the Wayne family.

Then he would regret thinking such a thing.

But he got more attention from Bruce and Dick and Alfred than he’d ever had before. It was such a new experience and it was often physically painful just how much he craved it, now that he knew it.

Now that he knew such affection.

He wanted it.

He needed it.

But he didn’t know why.

Would he ever know why?

_

Tim shakes his head, banishing those thoughts.

Cass tilts her head and looks at him inquiringly.

He finds the corner of his lip twitching upwards, “Sorry, just thinking.”

“Must’a been something important. You were really out of it there, baby bird,” Jason remarks. The man is lounging next to him on the couch, arms curled around Tim’s waist, keeping him comfortably curled against his broad chest.

He never got such physical attention before, but now he was getting so much of it he’s sure that he wouldn’t have been able to handle it… had he not also changed. He’d become more mellow, as far as he could tell – more able to accept affection and revel in it.

It was…

It was really nice.

He sighs and closes the book he wasn’t actually reading, “Sorry. I just can’t seem to keep my mind from wondering today.”

Jason’s shrug bodily moves him and Cass grins at that, “S’okay, baby bird. Wanna share?”

“Mm mn,” Tim hums, shaking his head.

Cass decides then that she wants to join them, so she crawls onto the sofa and drapes herself over Tim, sandwiching him between them. “Shouldn’t think too hard. Relax.”

“You heard her, kid,” Jason smirks and tightens his grip.

Tim knows that trying to hide anything would upset Cass so he just lets the broad smile form.

Jason tosses his book on the coffee table and Cass rests her head on his chest, making him lie back on Jason.

Perhaps a nap like this would do them well.

_

Tim wondered how the others got anything done nowadays. They all just seemed to cling to him day and night.

Not that he was complaining.

If anything, he was worried for them.

…And perhaps fearful that they will soon come to realize they have better things to do than hang around him.

Tim’s thoughts fell further and further into dark territories.

When the others were around, they kept the shadows at bay with ease. His worries were unimportant and everything was just him and his family.

When he was alone, however…

Tim curls up on his bed and clutches the large Robin plushie Dick had given him. He kept it on his bed at all times. For several reasons, but the foremost being for times like this.

He clings to that plush and tries to imagine his family. He tries to fight the darkness.

But he can’t do it alone.

And a stuffed animal can only do so much.


End file.
